That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward sequels to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with woeful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third season began, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?
All’s Fair
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
MobLand
Dodgy figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
Prime Target
We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.